LGBT
What is Domestic Abuse?
- Abusing or controlling behaviour
- The violence or abuse can be physical, sexual, financial, mental or emotional
- Such violence can also be directed towards children, other family members or friends of the victim
- Abusive behaviour can occur in any relationship
Admitting to yourself and others that you are experiencing domestic abuse is very difficult. If you or your family are victims of domestic abuse you may be afraid to ask for help in case it makes things worse, but you don’t have to live with this kind of fear.
Whatever your circumstances, if you are experiencing abuse, it is important to remember:
- you are not alone
- you do not have to live in fear
- help is available
- you do not 'deserve' to be abused
- suicide or self harm is not the answer
- there is life after abuse
Click here to find specific information for Lesbian and Bisexual women, Gay and Bisexual men, and the Transgender community.
Shropshire Domestic Abuse Service Support for LGBT Victims
Shropshire Domestic Abuse Service exists to provide an outreach and a Children/Young People’s service to LGBT people and their children whose lives are affected by domestic violence, to empower them to make decisions for themselves about their own futures.
We work in partnership with local agencies to enable LGBT people and children/young people to regain the strength and confidence to take control of their lives and to have a future without fear.
Outreach Service
The service provides:
- Dedicated support either via face to face meetings, telephone, text or email according to need and individual choice
- Services in communities through working with other agencies
- Training and awareness sessions for agencies or individuals
Groups for Children
Our partners provide specialist group activities for children and young people that have witnessed domestic abuse. Contact us for more information.
Dispersed Accommodation
We manage dispersed shared properties based around the county. These can be offered to LGBT victims that are single or have children. At NO TIME will the dispersed accommodation be mixed sex.
LINKS |
| Shropshire Domestic Abuse Service 0300 303 1191 |
| National Domestic Abuse Helpline 24 hour 0808 2000 247 |
| Lesbian and Gay Foundation 0845 330 3030 |
| Birmingham LGBT 0121 643 0821 |
| Websites |
| West Mercia Police |
| Shropshire Council |
| Birmingham LGBT |
Referrals
If you would like to make a self referral please click on the following link, choosing “Self” as the Agency name and choosing the drop down option of “Self” for the Referred by answer.
Please include as much information as possible in ‘Reason for Referral’. This will help us understand your current situation and enable us to offer the most appropriate support.
Please include as much detail as possible about the abuser. Rest assured that we will not be contacting your abuser. It is to enable us to assist with any enquiries in a high risk situation. We are unable to accept referrals without the full name, date of birth, and believed address of the abuser.
Lesbian and Bisexual Women
An abuser will often manipulate their victim so that they feel they are to blame for the abuse. If an abuser is a former heterosexual partner or family member, they may say the abuse is deserved because someone started a relationship with another woman or came out as a lesbian.
Abusers often promise to change their behaviour or try and make their victim think they are responsible for any abusive behaviour.
Am I being abused?
Intimate partner abuse takes many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, identity and financial abuse. The list below outlines some examples of abusive behaviour. Does your partner:
- keeps you form spending time with friends or family members
- make you account for the time spent away from him
- act in a way that is excessively jealous and possessive
- have unreasonable demands on your attention
- blame you for all the problems in the relationship
- make all the decisions
- opens your mail, go through your emails and text messages or your personal belongings
- gets angry for no reason
- seems like two different people - charming and loving, or mean and hurtful
- lies to confuse you
- criticises, humiliates or belittles you
- controls the finances
- damages your property
- harasses you when you are not with her
- threatens to out you at work, to family or others
- criticises your appearance
- prevents you to practice safe sex, or coerces you into having sex
- blames her behaviour on alcohol, drugs or her own history of abuse
- pressures you into taking drugs or alcohol
- threatens physical harm
- assaults you with or without weapons
Using someone's sexuality to abuse
Lesbian and bisexual women can also experience forms of abuse based on their sexuality. An abuser can use the fact that their victim is a lesbian or bisexual. This can include:
- threatens to out them to their employer or family members
- criticise someone for not being a 'real' lesbian or 'real' bisexual, if they have only just come out or had previous heterosexual relationships
There also may be fears that no-one will help because someone 'deserves' the abuse or that agencies (like the police) are either homo or biphobic.
Ending the abuse
It is very difficult to admit that the person you love is abusing you and leaving them can mean leaving your home, community and changing your life. As a Lesbian or bisexual woman you are entitled to the same provisions afforded to heterosexual women. There is help available.
If you are in immediate danger call 999
For help and support, see the links section above
Gay and Bisexual Men
An abuser will often manipulate their victim so that they feel they are to blame for the abuse. If an abuser is a former heterosexual partner or family member, they may say the abuse is deserved because someone started a relationship with another man or came out as gay.
Abusers often promise to change their behaviour or try and make their victim think they are responsible for any abusive behaviour.
Am I being abused?
Intimate partner abuse takes many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, identity and financial abuse. The list below outlines some examples of abusive behaviour. Does your partner:
- keep you form spending time with friends or family members
- makes you account for the time spent away from him
- excessively jealous and possessive
- have unreasonable demands on your attention
- blame you for all the problems in the relationship
- make all the decisions
- open your mail, go through your emails and text messages or your personal belongings
- get angry for no reason
- seem like two different people - charming and loving, or mean and hurtful
- lie to confuse you
- criticise, humiliate or belittle you
- control the finances
- damage your property
- harass you when you are not with him
- threaten to out you at work, to family or others
- criticise your appearance
- prevent you to practice safe sex, or coerces you into having sex
- blame his behaviour on alcohol, drugs or his own history of abuse
- pressure you into taking drugs or alcohol
- threaten physical harm
- assault you with or without weapons
Using someone's sexuality to abuse
Gay and bisexual men can also experience forms of abuse based on their sexuality. An abuser can use the fact that their victim is gay or bisexual. This can include:
- threatens to out them to their employer or family members
- criticise someone for not being a 'real' gay or 'real' bisexual, if they have only just come out or had previous heterosexual relationships
There also may be fears that no-one will help because someone 'deserves' the abuse or that agencies (like the police) are either homo or biphobic.
Ending the abuse
It is very difficult to admit that the person you love is abusing you and leaving them can mean leaving your home, community and changing your life. As a gay or bisexual man you are entitled to the same provisions afforded to heterosexual men. There is help available.
If you are in immediate danger call 999
For help and support, see the links section above
Transgender Community
A relationship becomes abusive when there is a pattern of behaviour that means one person is exerting power and control over another.
Abusers often promise to change their behaviour or try and make their victim think they are responsible for any abusive behaviour. Examples of abuse can include someone who:
Intimate partner abuse takes many forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, identity and financial abuse. The list below outlines some examples of abusive behaviour. Does your partner:
|
keep you from spending time with friends or family members |
make you account for the time spent away from him/her |
act in a way that is excessively jealous and possessive |
|
have unreasonable demands on your attention |
blame you for all the problems in the relationship |
make all the decisions |
|
opens your mail, go through your emails and text messages or your personal belongings |
gets angry for no reason |
seems like two different people - charming and loving, or mean and hurtful |
|
lies to confuse you |
criticise, humiliate or belittles you |
controls the finances |
|
damages your property |
harasses you when you are not with him/her |
threatens to out you at work, to family or others |
|
criticises your appearance |
prevents you to practice safe sex, or coerces you into having sex |
blames his/her behaviour on alcohol, drugs or his/her own history of abuse |
|
pressures you into taking drugs or alcohol |
threatens physical harm |
assaults you with or without weapons |
Trans people can also experience unique forms of abuse when their gender identity is used to abuse. An abuser can use the fact that their victim is a trans person. This can include:
- threats to disclose your gender identity without consent, for example, to an employer, family or community
- if you are also identified as LGB, an abuser could also threaten to disclose your sexual orientation without consent
- criticising you for not being a 'real' woman/man
- trying to convince you that you deserved abuse, or that you are the real abuser because of how hormones are influencing your behaviour
- suggesting that agencies such as the police will not help you because they are transphobic
- physically assaulting surgically or medically altered body parts
- withholding money, health care, clothing, medication or hormones
- coercing the victim to get medical or surgical treatment to change their body back to what the abuser wants it to be
- heighten any sense of fear or shame related to your gender identity in order to control you
- criticising your sexual performance affected by hormones
- forcing you to expose scars
- refusing to use your preferred pronoun or name
- forcing the victim in to marriage
- threatens to withdraw child contact or remove children
- destroy medication or clothing
Ending the abuse
It is very difficult to admit that the person you love is abusing you and leaving them can mean leaving your home, community and changing your life. As a transgender person you are entitled to the same provisions afforded to heterosexual people. There is help available.
If you are in immediate danger call 999
For help and support, see the links section above